Sai-chan in Wonderland
by Sakura aka L-sama no Miko
Summary: My little gift to Sai-chan for his birthday. ^_^ This is based on the CLAMP video Miyuki-chan in Wonderland so expect some limonade.


Sai-chan in Wonderland

Sai-chan in Wonderland

By Sakura

Warning: This was inspired by CLAMP's Miyuki-chan in Wonderland video and NOT the saccharine version by a certain gaijin studio who shall remain nameless (*cough* Disney *cough*), so it's going to get a bit ecchi and limony. Also there's yaoi in here. If you don't like this kind of stuff or are under 18, then run away as fast as you can. Otherwise, come on down and enjoy!!

Sai sat on the couch dozing off and on as Rowan had taken control of the TV and was now watching a rather boring documentary on star formation or such. He was never interested in space, that being his blue haired friend's element. Give him a show on salmon spawning or anything related to fish and he'd be glued to the screen for hours. Soon the auburn haired ronin was fast asleep, his head on the armrest.

*****

Sai woke not remembering falling asleep. The TV was now off and Rowan was nowhere in sight. He rose stretching then proceeded to go up to his room to check up on the many fish he kept in his room.

Hearing footsteps, Kento popped his head out of the kitchen. "Hey Sai, we're kinda low on food in here. Could you run to the store 'n' get us some stuff?"

Sighing, Sai turned to his chubby friend. "All right, but try not to each so much this time."

"Hey! I'm a growing guy!"

Sai let out another sigh as he headed down the front hall and out the house.

*****

The packages he was carrying blocked his view so Sai didn't know he was about to bump into someone until it was too late. "Oh I'm terribly sorry," he said picking up some of the spilled groceries.

"I haven't the time! I'm late! I'm late! He's going to kill me! I'm late! I'm late!" said Yuli who just happened to be dressed in a bunny costume and quickly hopped onto his skateboard and dashed off.

Curious, Sai called after the boy. "Yuli! Wait!"

"No time! I'm late! I'm late!" came the reply.

Stashing the food in Mia's jeep, the water ronin decided to see what the little troublemaker was up to. He ran after the boy and finally caught up to him only to see a gigantic hole suddenly appear before them. Thinking the Dynasty had decided to attack again, Sai quickly called his subarmor and called out to the 'bunny'. "Yuli watch out!"

Paying the ronin no heed, the boy sailed right into the hole repeating "I'm late!" over and over.

"Yuli!" He immediately leapt after him and fell into the hole just as it was closing.

*****

When he came to, Sai saw he was lying on a floor that was nothing but one seamless mirror. Before him were a pair of doors carved of ivory, its one feature took his breath away. A woman hung in the center of the door, her arms and legs disappearing into the door. She had long brown hair and was dressed in a rather revealing outfit.

"M-Mia?!" he said shocked at what the Dynasty had done to the woman who had so generously taken them in.

"Konnichi wa," she said smiling.

"Mia! It's me Sai! Don't you recognize me?"

"Please go through these doors," she said not showing any sign of recognition.

Seeing he wasn't going to get anywhere, he figured the only way to free Mia was to find the Dynasty scum who did this and make him undo it. He searched for some way to open the door but couldn't find any. "Um... excuse me but there aren't any doorknobs," he said.

"They're right here," Mia said shoving her chest closer to Sai's face.

"Th-those are the knobs?" he asked, blushing furiously.

"Hai." Before he knew what was happening, Mia's arms broke free from the doors and grabbed his hands placing them on the 'knobs.' "Here you go."

Sai tried desperately not to get a nosebleed as his head was pressed closer to the woman's chest any of the ronins had ever been. Suddenly he felt himself pushed through Mia herself and landed face flat on the floor. Looking up he saw he was indeed on the other side of the doors, which promptly then disappeared.

Extremely confused now, the water ronin turned to find he was standing in the middle of a clearing in a forest. Before him stood Lady Kayura, dressed in her fighting clothes. Actually there were TWO Kayuras. Both were identical except for the colors of their clothing. The first Kayura wore a teal/gray outfit while the other had a red/gray one.

"Kayura?" Sai asked, cautiously. Both girls were looking at him strangely.

"I'm Kai-ra," said the red/gray Kayura.

"I'm Kay-ra," said the other. "What's your name?"

Deciding it would be better to play along, he answered them. "I'm Sai."

"Now that we know each other, let's fight," said the red/gray Kayura.

"Um... could you explain what I'm doing here first?" asked Sai timidly. He definitely didn't want to fight these girls. Especially after what Rowan had told him of his fights with her.

The girls however were in the mood for a fight and lunged at him, drawing twin pairs of starlight swords. Sai was forced to summon his full armor and fight back, which he did, but only halfheartedly. After a few minutes, the twin Kayuras paused to touch palms. Suddenly a teal light surrounded the one in red and a red light surrounded her twin. Before he knew what they were doing, the twins sent twin beams of red and teal at him.

The lights just missed him and the ground they were standing on broke apart, swallowing Sai whole. Only a small column of rock was left standing in the clearing on which stood the twin Kayuras, their auras twisting and bending to form two halves of a heart.

*****

After falling through a large crack, the auburn haired ronin found himself in a field of flowers. Also his armor was gone and the outfit he had on before was in its place. Putting a hand in his pocket, he sighed in relief at the familiar feel of his armor ball. "Now where am I? This certainly isn't the Dynasty unless they've done some redecorating." Looking around he saw a small round bistro table with a porcelain tea set on it.

"What a strange place to put a table and there's no chairs." As if he was drawn to it, Sai went over to the table and the teapot began to pour him a cup. "Um, thanks," he said politely. Feeling parched all of a sudden, Sai carefully took a small sip. The warm liquid was sweet as it flowed down his throat and unable to resist the flavor, the ronin finished the whole cup.

"That certainly was good tea, though it was a bit sweet for me." As he put the teacup back on its saucer, he began to feel a strange tingle all over his body. Sai stood in horror as he shrunk down to the size of a bug or did the table grow and he stayed the same? He wasn't to sure as to what exactly happened.

"Well, I definitely know not to drink the water around here," he said trying to make a joke out of the situation. The flowers he had been standing amongst now towered over him like a dense jungle. "Now I know how a bug feels."

"What makes you say that?" came a voice ahead of him.

Turning around, Sai saw a clump of mushrooms and lounging on one large one, was a caterpillar. In one of its six hands was a pipe leading to a hookah nearby. "Uh... hello," he said, staring at the bug who suspiciously looked like Naaza. 

"Hello," replied the caterpillar. "It's very rude to stare."

"Gomen, it's just that you look like someone I know."

"Who are you?" asked the caterpillar, blowing smoke letters as it smoked on the pipe.

"My name's Sai," answered the ronin. "Could you tell me where I am?"

"That's simple, you're here."

Seeing that he wasn't going to get a straight answer out of this Naaza caterpillar, he began to move on. "Stupid bug. I hate being three inches tall," he muttered under his breath.

Unfortunately, the Naaza caterpillar had excellent hearing. "I am three inches tall and you don't see me complaining do you?" A u shaped smoke ring blew past Sai's head.

"I'm sorry. It's just that a lot's happened to me lately."

"Explain." This time an X flew by.

"Well, first I fall down this big hole chasing after a friend of mine, then I find a these doors with a girl I know attached to them, and then I come across a pair of twins who look like a friend ours. Now I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere talking to a caterpillar who looks like an old enemy and I'm not my normal self."

"One side will make you larger and the other will make you smaller," said the Naaza caterpillar suddenly after a long silence.

"Pardon?"

"One side of this mushroom will make you larger and the other will make you smaller," he said getting annoyed now. "It's obvious you don't want to be here so why don't you just go."

"Which side will make me bigger?" asked Sai.

"How should I know? Do I look like a mushroom eater? Now go away."

Shrugging his shoulders, Sai tore off a piece of the Naaza caterpillar's mushroom from each side. Being the wonderfully kind boy he is, Sai thanked the Naaza caterpillar and walked a few feet away from the mushroom so he didn't squash him if he grew.

Looking at the mushroom pieces he tried to decide which one to try first. "They both look the same, but there's no way to tell which is which." Taking one piece from his hand, Sai closed his eyes and silently prayed it was the one that made things bigger. "Here goes nothing. Besides what else do I have to loose?" Licking the piece timidly, he waited.

After a few moments the familiar tingle returned and he grew till he was as tall as the flowers. "Well that proves the mushroom works," he said smiling a little. He continued to nibble at the mushroom until he had returned to his normal height, using the table as a yardstick.

"This place is definitely weird," he said looking around at the scenery. "The sooner I find Yuli and get out of here intact the better." With that the auburn haired boy headed towards the trees off in the distance.

*****

Sai rested against a tree and was about to doze off again when a voice above purred into his ear, "Konnichi wa."

He jumped at the voice and turned around to see a human sized cat lounging on a branch above where he had been seconds earlier. Actually it was a boy dressed like a cat. He had blond hair, which covered one violet eye and the costume he had on was that of a tiger striped cat. However the costume was for a girl so it comprised of a leotard, thigh high boots, elbow length gloves and an orange choker with a catbell as well as the obligatory ears and tail. 'Sage?!' thought Sai. 'Why is he dressed like that?'

"Um, hello," Sai answered back nervously. He didn't like the way the boy was looking at him like he was something good to eat. "You wouldn't happen to know where I am would you?"

The cat boy smiled, his violet eyes glowing in the forest light, then jumped out of the tree landing soundlessly on his feet. "Kawaii," he said taking hold of Sai's chin and lifting it so he could get a better look at him. "What is your name?"

"I'm Sai," he said blushing now. He knew he was cute many a girl had said so, but to hear it from someone who looked exactly like one of his best friends made him embarrassed.

"I'm Cheshire Cat," said the Sage kitty. "Would you like to play with me?" The Cheshire Cat was now rubbing up against Sai's body.

"Sorry, but I'm in a bit of a hurry," he said pushing the Cheshire Cat away. "I'd really like to get out of here, but I kind of lost my way."

"If you play with me, I'll show you the way out," Cheshire Cat said purring into the ronin's ear and playing with one of his sideburns.

"I-I really can't do that," he said blushing and backing away.

"Oh? And why not?" The cat boy wasn't about to let his kawaii prey get away so easily and began to advance on him again.

"B-because you... you look like a friend of mine," said Sai not realizing he was being forced back against another tree.

"That's a problem?" said the cat boy, slightly hurt.

"Of course it is!" Sai was now against the tree and the Cheshire Cat was blocking his only route of escape. "I-I could never think of my friends like that!"

"Oh really now?" Cheshire Cat leaned in closer and licked Sai's cheek. "Mmm, sweet," he said going in for another lick, this time on his neck.

"S-stop it!" Sai pushed the cat boy away and ran off.

Licking his lips, the Cheshire Cat smiled. "You won't get away, my kawaii little Sai-chan." As if on cue, Sai tripped over a loose tree root and fell on his face.

"Itai! (Ouch!)" he said rubbing his nose. He was about to stand up, when something big pushed him onto the ground. Looking up the cat boy had his hands firmly on his shoulders, a feral grin on his face.

"This is fun, but I can think of something more fun," he said, then proceeded to lick Sai's neck and face. Sai immediately began struggling again, but Cheshire Cat was surprisingly strong for his slender build and managed to keep the auburn haired ronin on the ground. "Don't worry little one you'll get your turn," he said purring as he began to remove Sai's shirt.

"N-no... d-don't..." The rest of Sai's protests were cut off by a deftly placed kiss to his lips.

Now that his 'prey' had been sufficiently silenced, the cat boy began to explore Sai's mouth and chest. Within minutes, Sai had ceased struggling and began to stroke the golden hair on Cheshire Cat's head as he returned the kiss.

*****

Sai had finally gotten away from the overly affectionate Cheshire Cat while he slept and was now continuing through the woods. A small pang of guilt crept into the ronin's heart. "I should have at least said goodbye to him. He wasn't really a bad person." He blushed at the memory of waking up in the cat's arms after a very interesting and tiring night.

He didn't realize he had walked out of the trees until the sunlight made him shut his eyes in pain until they'd adjusted to the sudden brightness. When he was able to see again, he looked around and saw an English country cottage surrounded by a white picket fence.

Curious, he passed through the gate and politely knocked on the door. "Maybe they know where I am," he said waiting for an answer, which never came. He knocked no more time and when no one answered, he decided to try the back of the house. "Perhaps they're out back," he said.

Walking around the house, he came across another strange sight. A banquet table filled the entire yard surrounded by many chairs. Each of the chairs had a place setting for tea and various teapots and cakes covered the center of the table. At the head sat a boy with blue hair dressed in only a dark blue vest and skintight black pants. An enormous top hat sat on his head and a card that read 7/9 stuck out from the band around it. Next to him sat another boy. He was kind of chubby and wore a similar outfit, but this one was brown and he had a headband with bunny ears on. Both of them were sipping the tea and eating the cakes as they talked.

"Excuse me," Sai began, but before he could say what he wanted, the boy with the top hat shot up and yelled,

"No room!"

"No room!" repeated the other boy who was now grabbing the cakes and running around the table trying to block Sai.

"But there's plenty of room," Sai said. How could there be no room at the table if the boys were the only ones there?

"Well, it's very rude ta come ta a party if ya aren't invited!" the blue haired boy shot back.

"I'm sorry, but I just wanted to know if anyone here knows the way out of here," Sai said, apologizing. "Um... What are you celebrating?"

"None of your business now get outta here!" yelled the boy with the bunny ears.

"You'll have to excuse him, he hasn't had his present yet," said the Rowan look-a-like.

"Oh is it his birthday?"

"Are ya kidding? We don't have birthdays hera."

"You don't?" Sai asked confused.

"Of course not! We have UNbirthdays," said the Kento look-a-like.

"So it's your... unbirthday?" guessed Sai. The boy nodded proudly. "Um, omedetou. (congratulations)"

"If you wanna get outta hera, ya'll have to go see the king. All the ways around hera belong to him," said the blue haired boy.

"The king?"

"Yeah, but I doubt he'd let you go," said the other boy.

"Um, why's that?" Sai was getting that uneasy feeling again for the boy with the top hat was now staring at him. "I-is there something on my face?"

"No," he said. "When's yer unbirthday?"

"My unbirthday?" What an odd thing to ask, Sai thought, but then again the whole place was weird. "Um, I guess today would be my unbirthday."

"Well in that case, I just can't let ya go without givin' ya yer present now can I?" said the Rowan look-a-like with a grin appearing on his face.

Sai recognized the look on the boy's face and knew exactly what 'present' he wanted to give him. He had seen the very same look on the Cheshire Cat's face. "Uh... that's nice of you, but you really don't have to give me anything," he said backing away.

A pair of arms wrapped around him from behind and pulled him against the Kento look-a-like's chest. "But we have to. It's the rules," he said placing a kiss on the back of Sai's neck.

'Oh no! Not again!' thought the auburn haired boy as he struggled to escape the other's grasp.

"He's right, ya know. The king'll have our hides if he finds out we didn't give ya yer present," the boy with the top hat said before wrapping his arms around both boys and placing a kiss on Sai's still protesting mouth.

Seeing it was no use trying to escape, Sai just mentally sighed and let the boys give him his unbirthday 'present'.

*****

Once he had been properly given his unbirthday 'present' and been properly said goodbye to, Sai was sent on his merry way toward the mysterious king's palace.

The directions the blue haired boy had given him were very precise and he had found himself in the king's rose gardens in no time. Actually the palace was only an hour's walk from the cottage so it wasn't hard to miss. The castle was your everyday, run-of-the-mill, faery-tale style castle so Sai paid it no attention.

What drew his attention were the white roses, or more exactly, the three men painting them. Two had long hair while the third had short, messy dark blue hair. All three wore nothing but painter's aprons and extremely short butt hugging underwear.

"Ano... what are you doing?" Sai asked, trying not to blush or stare too long at the barely clothed men.

"What's it look like!? We're painting the roses red," said the blue haired man.

"I can see that, but why?" Sai asked.

"We're painting them red because the king told us to plant only red ones," said one of the longhaired men with red hair. "But, he," he continued pointing at his white haired companion, "got the wrong seeds and planted white ones."

"It wasn't my fault I couldn't read the package!" said the white haired man. "It was Anubis's job to get the seeds anyway!"

"So it's my fault now!?" yelled Anubis. "I was YOUR job to keep his majesty busy, but NO you had to have your fun with Sh'ten!"

"Can I help it he's irresistible?" shot back the white haired man, patting the redhead, Sh'ten, on the rear.

"Stop that!" Sh'ten said swatting the hand away. "If HE sees these we're in for it."

Just then a furious bellow rang out. "WHO THE HECK PLANTED WHITE ROSES!?"

"Great, just great. Look what you did," Anubis said, glaring at Sai.

"Me? I didn't do anything."

"Oh no? Just who interrupted us in the middle of our work then?" Sh'ten said, furiously. The men were crowding around him now, intent on bodily harm.

"I-I'm sorry," Sai stammered, "I-I just..."

"Silly boy don't you know curiosity killed the cat?" said the white haired man. Sai gulped, then suddenly remembered he still had his armor with him and was about to call on it, when a voice said,

"Rajura! Anubis! Sh'ten! Get over here at once!"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Sai watched as the men timidly approached a boy with long black hair dressed in only a pair of tight jeans. The men immediately bowed before the boy pleading with him to punish them. However, he wasn't paying attention to them, his gaze was now fixed on Sai.

'Ryo!!? Ryo's the king?' Sai could only stare in shock at what appeared to be yet another friend. 'What the hell's going on here?'

"You there! Come here," Ryo ordered. Trembling Sai, came up to the boy king and bowed. It felt really weird to be bowing before him because of his looking like Ryo. He felt a hand slip under his chin and lifted his face towards the king's. Ryo's tiger blue eyes bore into his sea green ones. "What's your name, cutie?" he asked an all too familiar look coming to his eyes.

"S-Sai, your majesty," Sai replied, shyly.

"Sai, ne? I like that. I might be persuaded to forget about the roses if you give me this pretty little toy of yours," King Ryo said to the three men.

"He's not ours," said Sh'ten.

"We could care less what you want with him," added Anubis.

"Is that so?" The men nodded simultaneously. "Very well then, I shall decide on your punishments later." The men became disappointed and glared at Sai, jealously.

"Um... I-I really must be going." Sai then dashed away from the Ryo look-a-like, taking the only opening, which was the palace door. He didn't even notice where he was and ran blindly down dark hallways with the king chasing after him.

"Don't be shy, pretty one! I'll be gentle!" he yelled as he followed the auburn haired ronin around another corner. "Sai!"

*****

He thrashed about on the couch, limbs flying about. "That must be one helluva nightmare," Kento remarked as Sage held onto Sai's legs.

"Sai! Sai wake up!" Ryo said shaking him gently while trying to avoid being hit by the boy's arms.

"I got 'im," said Rowan and held Sai's wrists down.

"Sai, c'mon buddy wake up!" Kento said.

"C'mon, Sai wake up!"

The sudden inability to move and shaking caused the sleeping ronin to open his eyes and scream. "Gyah!! Get away from me you hentai! (perv)" With that, the bearer of Torrent dashed out of the house breaking the sound barrier.

"What was all that about?" Kento asked, perplexed.

"Next time, ya wanna mix us drinks Kento, make sure we're not here first," Rowan said.

"By the way what was in that stuff?" Ryo asked.

"I do NOT want to know," Sage said, putting his two cents in.

"How the hell do I know? I can't even remember what I had for lunch today," the chubby ronin said, and for Kento not to remember what he ate was proof enough that whatever he did use was not worth knowing about.

"Might as well go after him," Ryo said putting on a jacket.

The other two ronin just shook their heads as Kento plopped down on the now vacant couch and began flipping through the TV channels.

~Owari~


End file.
